


no rest for the wicked, no cure for the damned

by Alley_Walk (AlleyWalk_writes)



Series: Twist of the Knife [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: 'us against the world' mentality, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21582574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlleyWalk_writes/pseuds/Alley_Walk
Summary: Lenalee was kidnapped by the Black Order at the age of six once she fully transformed into a being beyond mere human comprehension.Things have not been going well for her since then.But then three beings like and unlike her arrive at the Order one day.And, well. Friendship isn’t so bad, in the end.
Relationships: Lenalee Lee & Kanda Yuu & Alma Karma & Lavi
Series: Twist of the Knife [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555453
Kudos: 13





	no rest for the wicked, no cure for the damned

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all!
> 
> This is the start of a new one shot series of mine that I hope you will all enjoy!
> 
> Some will be longer than others, some might have multiple chapters, it really depends on how I'm writing it at the time.
> 
> TW for self-harm and mentions of self-harm, child abuse and manipulation of children.

Since the age of six, training has been Lenalee’s only companion. She would open her white wings and take to the air, flying until she could fly no more. White fire would consume her body as she flew faster than the speed of sound. Whether over water, ground, or air, she was the fastest Angelica alive, speed weaponized. 

And she hated it.

The Black Order took her from her home. That much, she remembers. But it’s hard to grasp through her lovely Angel’s rapture and calls to  _ worship me worship me worshipme _ , through the fog of fear and pain that only lessens through hatred of the Order. And with mission after mission with no hope of finding news about her family it’s really easy, to descend into something that could be called less than human.

Pain is a new and different thing inside her mind. Pain means fear. Pain means alarm. Means  _ get away _ , means  _ attack back _ . She snaps and snarls at Head Nurse for each pain she inflicts upon her, the human murmuring in its own language in a soothing tone. 

Lenalee is not soothed. 

She destroys her sparring opponents with a visceral desperation to  _ not be hurt anymore _ , The Kind One whispering soothing things into her ears that only she can hear. The fear and desperation and hate is all knotted and tangled up inside her, buzzing inside her veins like a nest of angry bees. They explode out of her at the most inconvenient of times, expressed by the scratches on Lenalee’s wrists or the crescent moon shaped scars on her palms.

Lenalee hardly ever speaks, but her emotions are expressed clearly by her actions. That’s why, when several new children are brought to the Black Order Headquarters, Lenalee is leaning around a corner watching them surreptitiously. 

There’s a red headed boy with emerald green eyes that has black wings and a black whip-like tail waving out behind him, laughing loudly to something another Angelica has said. Lenalee looks back at her own pure white tail, flicking it contemplatively. She’d never thought of the similarities between Angelica and Demonaire before. It was something to think about later.

The Angelica has short spiky black hair and blue eyes, with a fresh bandage across his nose.

“What are you doing?”

Lenalee spins around to find a tall Demonaire of about her own age looking at her with suspicion, his cobalt blue eyes boring into hers. Lenalee bares her teeth and flares her wings out in threat.

The long haired boy smirks. “Ha. Cute.”

Lenalee scowls, stomping her foot in frustration.

“Che. Come on.” With that the boy takes her hand and bodily drags her over to the other Hosts.

“Oh, hey look, another Host? Where did you find her, Yuu?” The red headed Demonaire asks.

“Shut up, rabbit.” The other Demonaire snarls, letting go of Lenalee’s hand.

For some reason, a part of Lenalee misses the contact.

Lenalee finds that they’re in a familiar wide stone chamber, hollowed out by the same water that has now been redirected to a large pool in the middle of the chamber, drained into the underground reservoir whenever it rains.

Lenalee can’t remember the last time she’s seen sunlight for more than a few days.

She misses it.

She feels as if the cold and damp of this place has seeped into her very bones.

If it weren’t for the Witchlights hovering overhead, illuminating the room around them, they would be cast in total darkness. Not that that matters to creatures who can see in the dark, but that’s hardly the point.

“Not very homey, is it?” The green eyed Demonaire asks with a grin, and despite her better instincts Lenalee graces him with a rare smile.

He grins back, and Lenalee notices that like hers his irises are slitted like a cat’s. She wonders what happens to his eyes when he uses his powers.

“I’m Lavi, by the way. And this is Alma ‘n Yu-”

“Kanda!” Alma interrupts quickly. Lenalee scrunches her nose up in confusion. “I mean, Kanda’s his name. Don’t call him Yuu unless you have his permission first.”

Lenalee nods. She gathers her words as best she can and says stumblingly, “L-Lenalee.”

Kanda snorts. “What are you, five?”

Lenalee bristles, her wings flaring out from where they’d been folded against her back.

“Come on, Yuu. She probably just doesn’t talk much.” Alma says, and Lenalee deflates with a brisk nod.

“So, are you here for the cure?” Lavi asks, making Lenalee go cold.

Oh.

She had forgotten.

Lenalee’s eyes shut tightly as her fists clench, her claws unsheathing to dig into her palms. The pain grounds her, makes the whole room stop smelling of damp hair and burnt flesh, and she blinks away her tears to get out roughly, “there is no.  _ cure _ .”

She opens her eyes to see them all looking at her, shocked.

“But that’s the whole reason we came here!” Alma bursts out.

Lavi nods, looking thoughtful. “They said we were a danger to our families, and that if we went with them, they could cure us.”

“Well there isn’t.” Lenalee says harshly. “They tricked you, and now they’re going to use you.” She softens. “I’m sorry. I would have stopped them if I could.” 

She finds that she believes this. No one, not anyone, deserves her fate.

Kanda curses and begins to pace, Alma looking at him worriedly while Lavi wears a pensive expression.

“Is there any fucking way out of here?!” Kanda growls out, his wings flaring and his tail lashing agitatedly. 

Lenalee shakes her head. “I’ve tried. This place is like a maze. And they put a bag over your head whenever it’s time to go out on missions.”

Lavi’s head snaps towards her, his eyes sharp. “‘Missions’?” He parrots.

Lenalee nods, searching for words to try to explain. “They probably won’t send you out right away. They’ll want to… to train you first. To show you the… extent of your abilities.”

“What are the missions for?” Alma asks hesitantly.

Lenalee finds she can’t say it. She meets his eyes and smacks her fist into her hand. 

“Are things real bad around here, Lenalee?” Lavi asks, and there’s something soft in his eyes.

Curtly, Lenalee nods. 

They all meet each other’s eyes, and there’s a silent understanding passed between them. Things were bad around here, and they were going to keep being so. 

But that didn’t mean they had to suffer alone.

They would make it better.

For each other.

And things slowly got better for Lenalee. 

When her nose got broken in a spar and her advanced healing had yet to kick in, Alma shared his bread roll with her, even though he had just come out of solitary for being caught stealing Renee Epstein’s makeup. In return, the next time Lenalee goes on a mission, she steals a tube of lipstick from a nearby store while the CROW weren’t looking, nearly getting caught in the process.

The happy look on Alma’s face had been worth it.

Lavi, Alma, and Kanda all pitch in to weave her a leather bracelet for her birthday, which leads to everyone getting matching ones for their consecutive birthdays in solidarity.

And Lenalee finally decides that maybe friendship isn’t so bad.

But still.

She misses her brother.

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot to mention, but a better explanation of this 'verse and what's currently happening in the world can be found in the series summary. If you'd rather find out when the kids do, that's fine, and more things will be explained in detail than they have been in the summary, but if you'd rather have an overview then that's the best place to get it.
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments at the bottom! I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this AU. ^^


End file.
